Despite the ups and downs of my freshman year, I’ve come to learn a few things about life. for one thing, nobody really warned me what it’s actually like to be so on your own in a place that doesn’t quite feel like home. how can anyone tell you what that’s like if you’ve never experienced on your own time? you can’t actually know until you’re there, until you’re away from home and on your own. I now know what it’s like. yeah, it definitely isn’t fun being so far from what you’re so used to knowing as home, but it’s also an experience unexpected.
Being on my own for the past 8 months has been a Rollercoaster of trying to find that “undsicovered road” – my ultimate independence. when I think of independence, I don’t just think of physically being on your own; i think of being mentally independent as well. when I say mentally independent, I don’t mean I’ve learned to isolate myself from all of society and develop mildly psychotic behaviors (although it is very possible..). when I say mentally independent, I mean not relying on other people for all of life’s highs and lows, all of the seasons of feelings, and not relying on other people for meaning or for happiness. I believe that I am on the road to showing true mental independence. I’ve known what it’s like to feel left out, to be let down, but I’ve also known what it’s like to let go. to let go of the things our self conscious selves still willingly hold onto. with letting go comes realizing truth. truth in beauty, truth in self. letting go means letting yourself show, not any version of yourself that you’ve ever known. I hate that we naturally put up a front, that we naturally compare ourselves to others, that we naturally alter our personality in hopes of becoming someone we’re not.
A good friend of mine once told me to be myself simply because I wasn’t, and I’m not, everyone else. I am my own person, a person capable of independence. as easy as you’d think this is to realize, it was actually a huge revelation for me and my need to be independent. This person doesn’t know the amazing effect that they have had on me in realizing what it really means to be myself. so this is my message to you, to tell you all that I’ve learned in hopes that you might find true mental independence, too. so be yourself, don’t be something you’re not, because life is too short to be anyone else. be yourself cause everyone else is already taken (pretty sure this already a quote but just go with it), even the versions of yourself that you’ve learned so effortlessly to create. there’s no point in being fake. waiting on the other side of life is the you that you were meant to be. go get it, go out and find yourself. and while you’re out there running those never ending life miles, don’t forget to be yourself. today and always.