I’ve been gone for 2 weeks now, and it feels like 2 months. I never realized how you can get so used to a routine in such a short amount of time. After some time, coming to school has forced me to recreate a routine and get settled into the rollercoaster of strife versus nice in my everyday life. As I lie here in my bed, I try to sum up some of my so far days at Samford.
My roommate, looming with the strength of a loved one, loving the life of a lost one, seems even more beautiful than before. Heart, heart is what she has and what most hurts during this time of mourn, and heart is her only hope, a hope which my heart yearns can help her see again, feel again. I have so much love for my roommate, so much pride and admiration for her sweet spirit. Everyday is a day that she is forced to face without her, and everyday is a day that she is looking lovingly down on her beautiful daughter. Lucy, my beautifully broken and sweetly strong roommate, I have so much love for you, so many laughs to share with you, so many tears to bear with you. But losing hope isn’t in the cards. So my hardest I’ll try to keep your wings flying high, flying forever in honor of your mom.
Routine. A word that means to keep up with a consistent schedule, consistent goals in mind and high in your life. A word that I rely so much on just to keep my days long. A word that in essence defines success, defines the ability to follow a plan, and shapes the faith that keeps us sane, the faith that reminds us of God’s greater plan. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Whether my day went exactly how I imagined or it went the exact opposite of all my expectations, faith makes me rest in the fact that no matter what – no matter what happened during my so called luminous routine – God will always prevail. When we think we’ve got it all together and we think we can handle our routines, that’s exactly when we are wrong. That’s exactly when God shows up. Blunt and blessed, He shows up. Purposeful and plentiful, that’s when He shows up. God shows up in places when we least expect it, that is what I have turned to learn today and everyday. Today, and everyday, I will keep my eyes open, my heart broken, ready for God to show up, even when I think I have plans of my own. That’s when God shows up. Routine. A word only God can consciously control and mold in our lives.
-r
days.of.rachel 